Well, well, well--we meet again. It has been a while since I last posted and the only reason for that is because I am lazy, tired, and busy with a toddler. If I even try to take out the lap top while she is near by, within minutes she is at my side, pushing buttons and turning the lap top off! It's easier this way--to write while she is in bed, having sweet dreams.
In 3 months exactly is my "due date" and I am more nervous than a 16 year taking a driving exam! I was fine with Natalia, but this time it's different. I have spent the last 18 months (which will be almost 22 by the time Leona is born) alone with Natalia. It has just been me and her during the day while Dan works hard for the money. I struggle with feeling like a bad mommy for having another baby so close in age with and not waiting until she was older, and maybe in preschool. I know that in the long run they will both benefit from having each other, but right now I want to cry when I think about having to share my time with Natalia and Leona. Does that make me selfish? I hope not, because that's not how I want it to be at all. I love my girls to pieces and would do anything for either of them, but I am worried that Natalia and I are both going to have a hard time adjusting to having another human being in our home.
I guess once she is here it will be easier to judge how things will go, right now I am basing it on how she reacts when I hold a doll! Ha. Oh boy, we are in trouble.
In case you didn't get it---her name is going to be Leona (our girl version of Leonard--after my grandpa) and Marie will be her middle name after my grandma. Both names have so much importance to us as do Natalia's names. Our girls are namesakes and we wouldn't have it any other way.
Well, it's bed time and I need to go take some tums. The heartburn is beyond ridiculous right now.
Beth
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