I Hope. . . .

When I go to bed and think about the day and all that was said, or what was done I hope for one thing more than anything. . . . that the girls know how much they are loved.  I can guarantee most parents hope for that one thing with their child(ren) as well.

Natalia says, "I love you," and "love you too," but does she really understand what love is at 2.5?  She knows that I get meals ready, help in the bathroom, read books, color, ensure her safety in parking lots, in the vans, near stairs, etc, but does that equal love to her?

I have a list of I hopes. . . . ..read or don't, it may cause tears for some (m&d)

*I hope Natalia and Leona know how much we love them, regardless of what they do in life.
*I hope I never forget this stage of life, even the sleepless nights
*I hope that I can always remember their birth story, because that is one story that there is only one of.
*I hope I can always remember how they smell (sounds gross, but when Natalia is away for a night, I sneak into her room and grab her blanket.  I sleep better that way.)
*I hope I never forgot how they sleep.  N is a back sleeper and L is a tummy sleeper.
*I hope I always remember their giggles
*I hope I always remember their sweet pre-toddler voice
*I hope I always remember their first time walking
*I hope I tell them enough during the day how much I love them and how happy they make me
*I hope whatever they do in life is honoring God
*I hope I never forget the way Natalia says certain words
*I hope I never forget how Leona moves her hand when she is playing with toys on the floor
*I hope I am alive when they get married so I know for certain that they married someone like their daddy and Papa.
*I hope they know how special their names are and why they were named after each person.  Natalie, Rachel, Grandpa Leonard, and Grandma Marie---It was an absolute honor to have our girls named after the four of you.
*I hope that there is at least one tradition that Dan and I start that they continue with their families someday

Some photos to look at while I wipe some tears away. . . . ..

The joys of motherhood are never fully experienced until the children as in bed.  Author  unknown.

 Children are great imitators, so give them something great to imitate.  Natalia will be a great mommy someday.

 I hope I never forget this toothless grin she gives out frequently.  Her eyes tell a whole story.

 I hope I never forget the tiny features that make Leona who she is.  Her lips, the dimple in her arm, the blue vein across her nose. .

 Neither child will ever be lonely, for they have each other, always.

 Big and little sister splashing around during bath time.  Yes, Natalia has a cookie, don't judge.

My baby is 6+ months now. . . this photo was taken by yours truly.

I look into her eyes and a see such a bright future.  I love you Natalia for all that you are, and all that you will be.  

Celebrate

Well, we meet again. Thank you to all those that read my blog. It's for my sanity that I "blog" but knowing that my friends (CW!!) and family (mom and Dad) read it, makes me want to write that much more. So, Natalia is 28 months old and I figured it was about time to get her out of the diapers and into some big girl panties!! I kept pushing it off and finally, I decided it needed to be done. So, on Monday (June 18) we woke up and took off the last diaper that she will EVER wear (until she is old and then it's necessary again.) It was a bitter sweet moment for me. My baby is growing by leaps and bounds and it has been truly amazing to see everything unfold. So, back to this whole potty training thing. I had NO idea where to even begin. I set a timer, asked her and in a very nice and pleasant way to head to the bathroom every 30 min. I felt like we lived in there the whole day on Monday. Thank goodness Leona is a laid back baby and took naps when I put her down and played while we took trips to and from the bathroom. By Monday early evening I was frustrated and felt like we had gotten no where. I was searching on google and seeking advice from anywhere and every where. A friend suggested looking into 3daypottytraining.com. She had success with it as well as a few other friends. So, Dan and I bit that bullet and bought the ebook. 56 pages later I felt like I was ready to take potty training head on come Tuesday. I followed her guidelines step-by-step and Lora (the author) delivered! Natalia is potty trained! We still have the night time to work on, but during the day she is doing a fantastic job. She told her Mimi she wanted ice cream and cake for not wearing diapers anymore and going on the potty. Well, my parents (Hi Mom and Dad!!) came over today and we celebrated! Celebrated Natalia. She went from diapers and a crib to big girl panties and a toddler bed!!! She did great with that transition. We went all out with this celebration!! See..... *We bring out the fine china to celebrate milestones and to just celebrate life* *Til (nickname) We R so proud of you!!!* *The 100th time on the potty in 2.5 days. She will just LOVE me one day for taking this picture and posting it on the net.* So, Natalia, Daddy and I are so very proud of you and your huge accomplishment this week. You and I make a good team. With hard work, and consistency you now get to wear Elmo panties!!! You're a big kid now!!!!! I love you Tilda Beans. So, we can't forget about Leona (LeLe.) She is 6.5 months and just a cutie patootie! She is a great baby (we were blessed with 2 laid back babes!) While I was potty training N, I decided to "sleep train" L. What does that mean anyways?? Normally during the week we are out and about with friends or running errands (which will still happen) but while we were at home for the 4 days, I decided to pay closer attention to L and how she "tells" me she is tired. Day 1 she took 2 long naps and then slept from 8:30 PM until 8:45. The next day was no different. One thing I will never forget as long as I have a baby living in our house is that "Sleep begets sleep." It's the honest truth. When she gets a few good naps in during the day she sleeps 100x's better at night. So, I need to pay attention to the cues so that Dan and I can get back to sleeping longer than 2 hours at a time. *6 month picture taken by. . . . ME!! I love it* *Hi mommy! What are you doing up there? Bye for now family and friends. Feel free to comment. Don't judge on the whole 3daypottytraining.com idea. It worked in 2.5 days and I didn't have a single adult beverage during the whole process.

I Will Miss This. . .

I WILL MISS THIS---Yes, the mess that N and L create on a daily basis

Am I going to miss stepping on an Easter egg or a fork from the tea party set? Heck no, but I will miss playing tea party and watching N's face light up when the Easter eggs come out for a rainy day. Both girls were in bed by 8:30 tonight (huge accomplishment on our part) and by 8:35 the tiniest Harkness tot decided she needed some extra cuddles to fall asleep. So, I scooped her up, kissed her bald head and we headed to our room with the rocking chair. As soon as I started rocking, the little stinker was sound asleep. I could of easily went and put her down, but I choose to rock her. To enjoy these moments where she still wants to be rocked and cuddled. I know all to well that in the near future she will be going to bed on her own without needing her mommy and that just breaks my heart. I love this "help me stage" and at the same time I love the "I can do it on my own" stage that we are experiencing with N. By the looks of our pictures you would think a tornado ran though our living room. Rest assured, it was just a very happy, energetic toddler (that still doesn't understand "clean up.") I clean up the living room most nights, and there are times when I just leave it for the morning. I hope that whomever reads this knows what I mean and that you will miss or do miss when your kids were younger and you had legos spread all over your living room floor. Enjoy them while they are little, because all too soon you will find yourself saying "I'll Miss This!"

I am doing something right. . . .

As a mom of 2 now, I pray every morning while I am getting ready, that my girls know how much they are loved by their daddy and I and that all we want for them is to be happy girls. I read a blog today about how all our children want is US. They don't care about the curtains, paint colors, lack of decorations, etc. Natalia and Leona just want Dan and I to be present in their lives and teaching them all that we possibly can.

I decided to make grilled cheese and soup for lunch. Not a hard task right---it turned into one, when Leona decided she needed to eat at that exact moment and I was trying to juggle grilled cheese (with Turkey), soup, a bottle, and cereal with apples. Grilled cheese doesn't have the same taste when mommy burns the bread. Natalia must of known that I burnt it and that I was sad. She looked into my eyes and with her sweet innocence said, "It's Ok, love you." I sent that to my mom via text and she replied, "Children live what they learn."

It's so true, the other day she colored on the carpet in the dining room with "washable" markers and instead of getting mad or upset, I said, "It's ok, I love you." There are times when we do get upset about things (biting her sister, throwing a sippy cup at sisters head. . . )but when it's something that small, like coloring on the carpet, all I can do is smile, tell her we color on the paper and clean it up. There is still a small pink mark on the carpet that is not going anywhere and when I vacuum I see it, smile, and know that all too soon I will miss having little hands coloring on my carpet.

So, for now I just want to be present in their lives, I want them to say to me someday,"Mom, thank you for being a part of our lives when we were growing up and not getting upset when we did some not-so-smart things."

(Thank you mom/dad for not getting upset at ME when I was younger for doing some pretty not-so-smart-things, but choosing to love me instead.)

Blessings,
Beth

Leona's Birth Story

Here is it, the story of Leona's birth.

On Tuesday, the 29th of November I had a doctors appointment with my OB. She checked me and I was 1.5 maybe 2 Cm dilated. That was it. So, we scheduled my induction for Thursday the 1st of December at 12 PM since she would be doing a surgery that morning.

On Wednesday the 30th I had my NST (non stress test) and during the test my contractions were about 6 minutes apart, but not very consistent. The nurse joked and said I wouldn't be surprised if you go into labor tonight. I left the hospital, and was ready to go home and get a good nights sleep before the labor began.

Wednesday night we went to Logan's Steak House for dinner, the 3 of us, and then we went to the mall. Dan and Natalia were in the play area, while I went to a few stores. As I was walking around, my contractions started up again, but died down by the time we got home around 7:45. When we got home I went down stairs to type up some things for my 3 friends that were going to spend Thursday with Natalia. I sent a text to my mom saying that I just wanted to cuddle with Natalia that night before we became a family of 4. Around 8:28 I was heading up stairs from the basement (16 stairs) is a whole lot for a 39 week pregnant lady! By the time I had reached the top, I knew my water had broken.

Dan was on the couch and Natalia was waiting for me at the top of the stairs. I went to the restroom and called my doctor. The answer call service lady had mentioned how calm I was and got my doctor on the other line. I could tell my doctor had been sleeping since she had an early morning, but I told her my water had broke, and she was going to call the hospital to let them know we were on our way.

After dropping Natalia off with a friend of mine, we were heading to the hospital around 9:45 PM. We were put into a room for a while to monitor the heart beat of Leona. After a while, I was in my room.

I had contractions that came and went, but there was no rhyme or reason to them. So, that was discouraging. I was 2 Cm and that was it. I thought it was going to be a very long night. The labor and delivery floor was very busy this night, so I had to wait until 1:30 until my pick(??) line was put in for the fludids and patocin. I was checked again 2 more times and both times I was a 4, VERY discouraging. The last check was at 4:30 and that was a 4 cm as well. I was on my side at this point for only about 15 minutes and I went from a 4 to a 10!! Talk about amazing. I thought I could feel the urge to push, but wasn't sure if it was the pain medicine that I had been given, that was fading away or if I had to really push.

My doctor came in and checked me and said, "Let's have a baby!" I began pushing around 4:50 AM (I made sure to look at the clock.) and about 13 minutes later I was the mommy of 2 beautiful girls. At first I forgot how to push, but then I quickly was reminded.

She came out with her right hand next to her cheek, and then her tiny slippery body came out and I was no longer in pain!

She was 8 lbs 8 oz and 21 inches long.


Well, that is the story of Leona and her coming into this world. It's late, and I need to head to bed.

Bye for now. . .

Beth

Changes. . .

Hello Blog friends,

I have been really bad at posting and it's going to get worse before it gets better. Sorry. But, I will post when I have a free moment, like I do right now.

Yesterday was Natalia's first day in the toddler room at church. She was with Heather in the nursery for 16 months of her precious life, and we are forever thankful for her for taking such good care of our baby for the 2.5 hours every week. We thought N would have reservations about going into the room, want to cling to mommy and not want any part of it. We were completely wrong. She took off her coat and walked right into the room like she owned it. Our sweet almost 21 month old is so very independent when she needs to be and yet still much a mommy's girl when I need her to be. Yes, that's right, there are times when I just want her to cuddle with me at night before going to sleep, or so grab a hug during playtime or just sitting on the couch watching cartoons and then she lays her head on my arm, as if to say, "I like you." When I got her from the toddler room, she was ready to leave. They got her bag ready and put her picture in it and her sippy and off we went to find Dan. He immediately asked where her picture was. That is one of the differences between the 2 rooms. He looked at it and almost started crying, right there in the middle of the atrium. Then, it hit me, our baby is no longer a baby, but a very active, healthy, fun toddler who now gets drawings every week along with a snack.

Leona will be here soon I hope. I really don't want to go to my due date. I am ready to have her out of me and in my arms instead. I forgot how uncomfortable the last few weeks are, but I am quickly reminded that despite all of that, I am so very blessed that my body is able to carry a baby, so then I ponder that for a while and forget about the massive heartburn and frequent bathroom trips I make, and thank God that she is growing and healthy.

We have one more ultrasound before we get to officially meet her. I really hope she isn't hiding her face again. Every US we had, it has been hidden, as if she knows we want to get a peek at it and is being stubborn already. Either way, I am excited to meet her and see what she is like.

Well, the princess is asleep, so I think I will lay down for a bit too. I am exhausted and I haven't even done much today. I will be posting again very soon. But, it will be for N and L.

Bye for now,

Beth

Enough love. . . . ???

Well, well, well--we meet again. It has been a while since I last posted and the only reason for that is because I am lazy, tired, and busy with a toddler. If I even try to take out the lap top while she is near by, within minutes she is at my side, pushing buttons and turning the lap top off! It's easier this way--to write while she is in bed, having sweet dreams.

In 3 months exactly is my "due date" and I am more nervous than a 16 year taking a driving exam! I was fine with Natalia, but this time it's different. I have spent the last 18 months (which will be almost 22 by the time Leona is born) alone with Natalia. It has just been me and her during the day while Dan works hard for the money. I struggle with feeling like a bad mommy for having another baby so close in age with and not waiting until she was older, and maybe in preschool. I know that in the long run they will both benefit from having each other, but right now I want to cry when I think about having to share my time with Natalia and Leona. Does that make me selfish? I hope not, because that's not how I want it to be at all. I love my girls to pieces and would do anything for either of them, but I am worried that Natalia and I are both going to have a hard time adjusting to having another human being in our home.

I guess once she is here it will be easier to judge how things will go, right now I am basing it on how she reacts when I hold a doll! Ha. Oh boy, we are in trouble.

In case you didn't get it---her name is going to be Leona (our girl version of Leonard--after my grandpa) and Marie will be her middle name after my grandma. Both names have so much importance to us as do Natalia's names. Our girls are namesakes and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Well, it's bed time and I need to go take some tums. The heartburn is beyond ridiculous right now.

Beth