Changes. . .

Hello Blog friends,

I have been really bad at posting and it's going to get worse before it gets better. Sorry. But, I will post when I have a free moment, like I do right now.

Yesterday was Natalia's first day in the toddler room at church. She was with Heather in the nursery for 16 months of her precious life, and we are forever thankful for her for taking such good care of our baby for the 2.5 hours every week. We thought N would have reservations about going into the room, want to cling to mommy and not want any part of it. We were completely wrong. She took off her coat and walked right into the room like she owned it. Our sweet almost 21 month old is so very independent when she needs to be and yet still much a mommy's girl when I need her to be. Yes, that's right, there are times when I just want her to cuddle with me at night before going to sleep, or so grab a hug during playtime or just sitting on the couch watching cartoons and then she lays her head on my arm, as if to say, "I like you." When I got her from the toddler room, she was ready to leave. They got her bag ready and put her picture in it and her sippy and off we went to find Dan. He immediately asked where her picture was. That is one of the differences between the 2 rooms. He looked at it and almost started crying, right there in the middle of the atrium. Then, it hit me, our baby is no longer a baby, but a very active, healthy, fun toddler who now gets drawings every week along with a snack.

Leona will be here soon I hope. I really don't want to go to my due date. I am ready to have her out of me and in my arms instead. I forgot how uncomfortable the last few weeks are, but I am quickly reminded that despite all of that, I am so very blessed that my body is able to carry a baby, so then I ponder that for a while and forget about the massive heartburn and frequent bathroom trips I make, and thank God that she is growing and healthy.

We have one more ultrasound before we get to officially meet her. I really hope she isn't hiding her face again. Every US we had, it has been hidden, as if she knows we want to get a peek at it and is being stubborn already. Either way, I am excited to meet her and see what she is like.

Well, the princess is asleep, so I think I will lay down for a bit too. I am exhausted and I haven't even done much today. I will be posting again very soon. But, it will be for N and L.

Bye for now,

Beth

Enough love. . . . ???

Well, well, well--we meet again. It has been a while since I last posted and the only reason for that is because I am lazy, tired, and busy with a toddler. If I even try to take out the lap top while she is near by, within minutes she is at my side, pushing buttons and turning the lap top off! It's easier this way--to write while she is in bed, having sweet dreams.

In 3 months exactly is my "due date" and I am more nervous than a 16 year taking a driving exam! I was fine with Natalia, but this time it's different. I have spent the last 18 months (which will be almost 22 by the time Leona is born) alone with Natalia. It has just been me and her during the day while Dan works hard for the money. I struggle with feeling like a bad mommy for having another baby so close in age with and not waiting until she was older, and maybe in preschool. I know that in the long run they will both benefit from having each other, but right now I want to cry when I think about having to share my time with Natalia and Leona. Does that make me selfish? I hope not, because that's not how I want it to be at all. I love my girls to pieces and would do anything for either of them, but I am worried that Natalia and I are both going to have a hard time adjusting to having another human being in our home.

I guess once she is here it will be easier to judge how things will go, right now I am basing it on how she reacts when I hold a doll! Ha. Oh boy, we are in trouble.

In case you didn't get it---her name is going to be Leona (our girl version of Leonard--after my grandpa) and Marie will be her middle name after my grandma. Both names have so much importance to us as do Natalia's names. Our girls are namesakes and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Well, it's bed time and I need to go take some tums. The heartburn is beyond ridiculous right now.

Beth

In Heaven

This is going to be a "Stream of Conscience" post. . . (totally random). . .

When I sit on our couch and I look up at the entertainment center there is a frame that ALWAYS catches my eye. It's A picture of Natalia and her great-grandpa, and a picture of my Grandpa, Dad, Natalia and I (4 generations.) My grandpa passed away in early May, and I still can't believe it's real. He was supposed to come for Easter and we put up a snack tray next to the couch for his drink (Squirt--which we still have plenty of) and I can't find myself to take it down. We only put it up when he would come over, mainly because we never sit on the small couch. I feel like it's a bad dream and very soon, we will see him again. My parents and Dan, Natalia and I were at his house the night before he went into the hospital. We brought dinner over. It was my idea to go over there, and I don't regret the decision one bit. We spent 4.5 hours with him, and I think if any of us knew that the following day would be the last day we could get to talk to him where he would understand what we were saying, we would of stayed longer, created more memories, taken more pictures. But, that's the funny thing about life. You just never know what is going to happen in life. I feel like I never really told my grandpa how much I loved him and how much he means to our family. I am sure he knew, but, it's not the same. I get a lump in my throat when I think about the first night in the hospital and I went to see him. He was lifeless pretty much. I was talking to him about the baby that is due in December and how he had to get better so that he could be here for that baby and when I spoke of the baby-to-be he squeezed my hand. Then, at one point he raised both of his hands as if to say "Take me Lord, I am ready." That was so very hard to see because we were selfish and weren't ready to let him go. Before I got married I said, I want my dad and grandpa to be at my wedding. That was done. Then, I said I want them both to meet their first grand/great grand child and that was done as well, but I was not ready to let him go. He lived a great life. Had a wonderful wife (I miss you too grandma) and 4 wonderful children. But, things will never be the same without him. How do we celebrate a holiday when he is not there? How do we welcome another baby into the family, when that child won't have a picture with their grandpa/great-grandpa? I want to try to incorporate his name into the babies name, so we will see what we come up with.

I am sure my stream of emotions are due to the pregnancy and just missing him all together. Well, thank you for letting me share that with you all.

If you read our blog, please comment. I would love to know who follows me.


Go create memories with your family---because you just don't know how much time is left.

<3 Beth

Major Updates. . .

Wow! I guess I am not very good at keeping up with this at all. I mean it's not like I am busy or anything with an active toddler. A picture is worth a thousand words. . . so let this picture do some explaining (most of you already know what is happening in our lives. . . )




We couldn't happier about this amazing blessing. I am "due" December 7th. Just 3 days before my brothers and cousins birthday. Will it be a trio celebration? I hope not! I don't want to be over due! Yuck. I am thinking around Thanksgiving this bundle of joy will make an appearance. If it was safe for me to go in the middle of November I would to honor my Grandpa's birthday. We lost him in May and it still hurts my heart to think that Natalia and future children never got to know him. I was so very blessed to have known my great-grandpa and enjoy his presence while on earth.

Ok. Enough sadness for one post---Back to Natalia. She is 16 months old and is growing by leaps and bounds. She never crawled or pulled up on things until this last month. On her 15 month check up her doctor was concerned with her muscle tone and her not walking so we were referred to a PT. We have gone 3 times and every time she cries because we are not with her (when we are with her, she doesn't want to do anything.) So, we had to show some tough love and something is working. Because I am so very happy to say that she is not pulling up on anything and everything---even stairs! She is starting to crawl as well and I can't help but hoop and howler when she does it! It is so incredible to see her change right before my very eyes. She is a mama's girl for sure! I love it. I love hearing "Mama" in the morning and now I hear "I wove you" in the morning as well and that just makes my heart melt. How can one tiny being take up so much space in ones heart? She does a great job of it!

I haven't been sick like I was with Natalia, but I have had sickness in the morning. Natalia caught on and coughs when I cough (which is normally a sign that I will be getting sick.) At first we thought she was choking and then realized what was going on. Stinker.

Well, I have written enough to keep you guys reading for a while. I will have an ultra sound at the end of July and hopefully the baby will cooperate with us. :)

Blessings--

Beth

One Year Ago

Well, in about 24 hours Natalia will be One Year old. I would write tomorrow on her actual birthday, but I will be to busy celebrating the birth of a precious baby girl with our family and close friends. As I look back on the this past year I can't help but think how blessed we are to have a healthy baby. Everyday she brings joy to Dan and myself and I fall in love with her all over again. She can turn my day right around when it's not going as planned. She has the best personality ever and I look forward to all the birthdays ahead with her.

Natalia--your daddy and I love you so much and thank God for you everyday. You are very special to us because you did something that means more to us than anything else, you made us parents and we couldn't be more honored than to be your parents. You are a fun, bright, silly girl and make us laugh so much everyday.

I hope that you have a fun day tomorrow and that I don't cry to much! :)

We love you Natalia,
Mommy and Daddy <3

2010 In Review

As I sit here on NYE with my love, I can't help but think what 2010 was like for us. I love the song "Happy Christmas" and the lyrics "So this is Christmas, another year over and a new one just begun....." As we put 2010 behind us with all of the memories we have created, we are able to look ahead into 2011 with a positive attitude and the expectations that 2011 will rock our socks.

In 2 months we will be celebrating the birth of Natalia that happened a year ago. I can't believe that our sweet bundle of joy slipped into this world almost a year ago. I get misty eyed when friends bring up this joyous event that we will be celebrating soon, but they are so very happy tears. I don't know what our live would be like without Natalia. Sure I do, our living room would be clutter free, our counter space would appear larger than what it is, our dining room would not have a Sesame Street floor mat, and we would not be sitting in on NYE in our house. I wouldn't trade any of that in. I love that I have to constantly pick up hand fulls of plastic balls that she has thrown about the room (sure I might grumble under my breath about every one of them) and I hate that I can never find the ONE duck that belongs with his family, and that I always manage to step on Buzz Lightyear's foot! This just simply means we have a healthy, precious baby in our home and with that I am very thankful! Have a look at the dolly----




She is a character and she knows it! She is working so hard on those top teeth. They are just taking their time coming in, and for pete's sake, after a few months you would think they would be in. This girl is a trooper though to deal with them. She has her "off" time at night, and cries and all I can do is hug her and pray harder that they will just pop through already!

Dan and I moved into our first HOME in October and 2 months later we have most certainly made this house a home. We are not fully unpacked and won't be for a while, but the important stuff has been placed in it's proper locations. There is a few updates we have made and it's so rewarding to see the after math of a big project.

Night night for now. More in 2011! I promise!! :)

MAJOR UPDATES

WOW! I have become the worst blogger ever. So much has happened since the last post in July! So, let me get to it.

August--- Natalia turned 1/2 a year old. That was a bitter sweet celebration. She is so full of life and I am so happy to say she is my daughter.



September-- Nothing major happened. We were in the process of buying a house and that ended up taking a lot longer than anyone thought possible.

October--- We OWN a house now!!!!! We moved in on Sweetest Day, so Dan thinks that will be my gift for the next 20 years. :) He he. Natalia now says "Dada" and has her two bottom teeth. I know you want to see what she looks like now, so I will post a few pictures. She is going to be a flower for Halloween.

I will try to keep up more with this blog, considering family and friends far away like to know what is going on with our family.

Love to all!!!